


stray

by Nyaruki



Category: Keyakizaka46 (Band)
Genre: F/F, Romance, monarisa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 10:32:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12769170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyaruki/pseuds/Nyaruki
Summary: "It was just that not even Shida’s sun would light up the darkness of her jealousy if it didn’t shine for her alone."Risa has had enough of sharing what she thinks should rightfully belong to her, so finally, she takes action.





	stray

**Author's Note:**

> first things first, this is my first written contribution ever so any opinions are greatly appreciated!! i'm literally so anxious about this i might as well be shaking? lmao
> 
> but!! there's a very sad lack of keyaki fanfiction, which i'd like to fix, one fic at a time.

Watanabe Risa had a crush.

 _Ah, so even Risa-sama is capable of such a feeling, huh_ —. That’s what you might be thinking.

It took her quite a lot of time to admit that even to herself, too. But, as with a lot of other things that had happened to her since she became a member of an idol group, there came that point in time where she just had to accept that she wasn’t always in control of her feelings.

And how could she be, when a certain cat-faced member had the habit of latching tightly onto her at the most random of times, for a reason as simple as a sudden whim to do so? When that same member would glance at her from up close with those large cat eyes of hers, and the intensity of her gaze would almost stop Risa’s thought process altogether? Even when she would unconsciously lean into her when she’s overcome with laughter while recording a TV show? That familiar warmth of the girl’s body never failed to leave behind a tingle on Risa’s skin every time they’d touch, no matter how fleeting.

Yes, the person she liked was Shida Manaka. To the surprise of… absolutely no one. Apparently, everyone had somehow figured it out before Risa herself had managed to make sense of her feelings. Everyone but the Manaka in question. A fact that largely complicated Risa’s daily life.

Why? Because Manaka was a cat. An absolutely adorable, absolutely selfish alley cat.

Obviously, Manaka liked Risa a lot. But Manaka liked a lot of people. Like a stray cat would warm up to someone after they’d given it food, Manaka would stick to anyone who’d provide her with entertainment. She lived her life guided by her love for laughter, second only to her love for freedom. Her feelings of “like” meant nothing special, nothing that would tie her down, yet they somehow made you feel special anyway. Just like how you’d feel happy when a cat would let you pet it, simply being allowed to laugh along with this person made you feel like the sun was shining a little brighter just for you.

So when Manaka would cling to Risa or proclaim her affection for her, or even when they’d spend time together alone in a comfortable silence that could be achieved only by the two of them, that likely didn’t make Risa particularly special. Because as soon as Manaka would be there pressing playful, lighthearted kisses to Risa’s face, the next moment she’d be somewhere else, playing around with Oda Nana, doting on Techi, or maybe simply listening to one of those rock bands she likes on her own, blocking away the rest of the world with her headphones.

Risa didn’t hate that freedom-loving side of her. In fact, she was sure that it was one of the reasons why she fell for her in the first place. But she couldn’t help wishing for the cat to become hers alone. Wouldn’t every stray want to become a pet cat to a loving owner, after all?

Unfortunately, the biggest obstacle to accomplishing that wish of hers was her very own personality. _Tsundere queen_ , they’d call her. She’d just call herself dishonest instead.

Even now, in the dressing room after recording had finished. As per usual, Manaka had been sitting next to her during the show, and, again, as per usual, she had laughed a lot over those few hours they spent like that. She would lean into her, bury her laughter into Risa’s shoulder, or she would accidentally aim one of those unrestrained hand movements into her leg and hit her hard enough for it to hurt, and seeing Manaka enjoying herself so genuinely by her side made a sense of happiness swell into her chest. Her laughter was as warm as the sun.

And yet as they returned to the dressing room, the sun stopped shining for Risa. Manaka had immediately moved on to teasing Miyu and Oda with that same uncontrollable laughter as before. Fuuchan joined in too, and so did Akanen. And it wasn’t like Risa couldn’t go there either, go with their flow, laugh with them. It was just that not even Shida’s sun would light up the darkness of her jealousy if it didn’t shine for her alone. So she remained on the other, cloudier side of the room, simply playing with her phone in silence.

Just what _did_ she like about that stupid cat? She was moody, needy, very annoying. Beautiful, definitely, so long as she kept her mouth shut. Although that dyed short hair of hers certainly upped her charm to levels that should be entirely unreachable by any other person, it also made her seem that much more frivolous. Her lighthearted approach to things had made Risa pissed off many, many times. And yet… the way her eyes would narrow whenever she smiled at her, the way she would demand to be spoiled by her, and also the way they could rely on each other without having to say a word, the loving tone she’d use when calling out for her,  _Risa_.

 _Ah, that’s bad. I really am a lost case._ That’s what Risa realized, as well as the fact that she’d been staring absentmindedly in the girl’s general direction for at least a few minutes now. She hurriedly returned her gaze to the smartphone in her hand, though her thoughts floated over to the image of Manaka in her head once again. If the girl was truly always keeping an eye on her surroundings, if she could truly see through every member to the point where she could heal their pain with her endless warmth whenever they needed it… Then why wouldn’t she see through Risa’s heart as well? Risa appreciated their current relationship, of course, being each other’s pillar of support. That in itself was something special, to say the least. Then, was it selfish to be hoping for something more?

She remained silent even as they got on the bus to the dorms and Manaka sat next to her without asking, as if the seat was meant for her to begin with. Risa should’ve been happy, and deep down in her heart, she was. She was, but once again she was so dishonest even with herself that she ended up hurting her own feelings by not giving the girl any sort of reaction. Aside from the few times Manaka unsuccessfully attempted to start a conversation, Risa spent the ride in silence, and Manaka let herself be absorbed by the world inside her headphones.

 

* * *

 

The bus reached its destination and Risa languidly dragged herself behind the other members. This was all her own fault, so why was she in such low spirits over it? She sighed.

“You do know that every time you sigh, a small amount of happiness escapes you, right?”

When she lifted her head, there was Manaka, smiling at her.

“Ah, well, it can’t be helped. Adults have things to worry about, you know—.”

“Since when are _you_ considered an adult, Risa?”

“Ah, so you’re not denying that you’re childish.”

The clouds in her heart were making way for Manaka’s sun, it seemed. Risa felt like she could allow herself to smile, finally.

“I _am_ a kid! I don’t want to grow up!”

“What’s up with that… are you Peter Pan or something?”

As they walked in the direction of the dorms while engaging in such pointless conversation, Manaka suddenly seemed to remember something.

“Oh yeah, I meant to ask. You free today?”

“Mm… Yeah, I don’t think I have any more work today. Why?”

“Shopping! I wanna go shopping. You see, this brand I really like released a new line of T-shirts that are like, _so_ cute—“

Of course, Risa was overjoyed. But her dishonest nature wouldn’t allow her to express any of those feelings.

“You’re too noisy!” _No, that’s not what I meant to say at all…_ “Fine, I’ll tag along. I’m free anyway.”

Manaka seemed pleased enough with her response though, so she linked her arm with Risa’s and half-dragged her towards the nearest shopping mall.

The first few shops, they visited together, but, in the end, their tastes were just too different. It was truly unfortunate how this was a usual event whenever they’d go shopping, but they just agreed to do their shopping separately and then just meet up in the end.

Well, that was the natural course of things, Risa supposed. But she did feel the pang of loneliness in her chest as she watched Manaka walk away from her. In the end, she didn’t get a lot of shopping done, though there was that one skirt that was totally adorable that she just couldn’t resist.

Number of shopping bags: 1.

—Finished, I’ll be waiting near the fountain.

Risa typed out a quick LINE to notify Manaka where to meet up after she’s finished with her own shopping. Just a second passed before the “read” label was already attached under the message, another second before Manaka responded with “Roger that.” and some sticker Risa couldn’t make much sense of but made her chuckle anyway.

She figured she had a few more minutes to waste before Manaka would look for her, so she bought herself bubble tea and sat on one of the empty benches near the fountain in the middle of the mall.

Five minutes passed, then ten. Risa was one swipe away from angrily calling Manaka to find out just what the hell she was thinking, making her wait like that.

But then there she was.

Number of shopping bags: 4.

And to think she was supposedly here just for that T-shirt she wanted.

Risa chuckled softly at that thought. Manaka’s cat eyes were darting back and forth, searching for her in the crowd of people, and at the moment her gaze finally landed on the target brown-haired girl, her expression quickly changed into the kind of smile that could melt away any sort of frustration Risa felt over having to wait for her.

Manaka quickened her step towards her, and suddenly, Risa felt like the gears in her head stopped turning, and one single thought remained frozen in place at the forefront of her mind.

Manaka was so very beautiful.

Risa wanted that sunny smile for herself only.

“Sorry, I was stuck waiting in line for the cashier. I can’t believe how many people managed to cram themselves into that store! I know the new line is so cute they all can’t wait to get their hands on it but—Risa? You listening?”

 _Nope, sorry, too busy admiring your stupid pretty face_. Well, of course, she couldn’t say that.

“What makes those shirts so special anyway?”

Risa took a peek inside the bag containing the T-shirt in question. _Ah, black again_. Frankly, it was definitely not worth the hype Manaka had built around it. But well, it would certainly look good on her, so whether or not the hype (and probably the price, too) was justified, Risa ruled it out as a good purchase. However, one thing that did stand out to her was the loose neckline, and the thought that anyone could see Manaka’s bra if she so much as bent forward a little while wearing that shirt already made that familiar feeling of jealousy swell inside her chest.

Apparently that irritation had shown on her face, because Manaka was currently looking at her with such a puzzled expression that you could practically see the question marks forming at the top of her head.

Large eyes peering into hers, plump lips slightly parted, head quizzically tilted to the side. Currently, Manaka was the image of confusion itself. And once again, just when Risa had thought she’d already seen the short-haired girl at her cutest, her next expression would prove her wrong.

She was so cute, it was actually making Risa’s misguided irritation grow stronger. Why couldn’t she belong to her already?

“Risa? You’re making a scary face.”

“Whose fault do you think that is?” No, there’s no way she’d know it’s her fault. Even so, the words were out of Risa’s lips before she could think that through.

Manaka tilted her head further to the side and, understanding she was being accused but not having any idea as to why, her brow furrowed.

“Is it because I made you wait?”

“No, idiot.” Risa sighed. “How do you not get it? Everyone else does!”

“Everyone…?” _Why are the others involved too now?_ Manaka herself was clearly getting annoyed too.

One more sigh. There was no way around it anymore, huh?

“You’re always just thinking about yourself, Manaka. Your actions affect the people around you too, you know.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Is it really so fun to be a stray cat?”

“No no no, I’m not an animal to begin with?”

The flow of this conversation was getting weird. Risa was aware nothing she was saying made any sense to anyone but herself, but she was never good at properly putting her feelings into words in the first place. She could try to take care of the further explanations later, but at the moment, there were more pressing matters at hand.

“Anyway! Won’t you let me keep you?”

Silence.

“…Ha?”

“I’m sure pet cats have it much better than strays.”

“I don’t underst—“

“Be mine!”

 _Uwah_ , Risa was definitely blushing. Her face felt hot. Her whole body felt hot. Manaka’s gaze remained frozen on her, large eyes wide with shock, and Risa vaguely contemplated dying on the spot. How was she ever going to face her again after this?

Surprisingly, after the pair just let the silence stretch awkwardly between them for a while, Manaka’s ears too turned bright red. The blush spread to her cheeks, where it faded out into a lighter pink color, but nevertheless unmistakably there. Her surprised expression slowly turned into… a pout?

“That’s how you decided to confess?”

It was Risa’s turn.

“…Ha?”

“I mean, stray cat? Really? How rude.”

 _No no no, what’s up with this development_? Risa was having a really hard time keeping up.

Manaka was still sulking.

“If you’re gonna confess, confess properly, idiot Risa.”

“How am I supposed to know the proper way to confess to somebody, idiot Manaka!”

“It felt more like you were dissing me, rather than declaring your love.”

Risa wanted to scream. “Don’t put it that way!!” _Wait._ “What do you mean, ‘decided to confess’ anyway?”

“Come on. I’m not blind. For a while now I’ve known how you feel about me.” There was definitely a smug little twinkle in Manaka’s eyes now. “You were right, everyone _does_ know.”

Risa was currently experiencing a distressing mixture of absolute mortification and very explosive irritation. When those two emotions interacted with each other, that in turn made the girl essentially short circuit. What was she supposed to say in this situation? What was she supposed to _do_ in this situation? She thought she’d had the upper hand, but all along she’d been the one deceived by the younger girl?

Then what the hell was that all about? If Shida knew about her feelings, why wouldn’t she step in? Why would she play with her feelings like that?

How did Manaka feel about her, anyway?

The need to know that was stronger than her, and so she finally spoke up. “Then… what’s your answer?” She was still shaken, but somehow, she managed to regain her composure enough to not sound too pathetic asking.

Manaka let the question hang in the air for a few seconds.

Then she became the sun.

Her smile was so bright, so warm, Risa thought she’d either go blind or melt right there. Neither happened. Instead, Manaka kept her narrowed cat eyes focused on hers, and, in that next second, Risa’s heart almost stopped beating.

“I guess it wouldn’t be too bad to be owned by you.”

 

* * *

 

“By the way, we’re still in the mall.”

And so Risa was hurriedly dragged out of her dreamlike state by just that one statement.

She didn’t want to check her surroundings herself, but people were definitely watching. She hadn’t been exactly subtle and quiet in her so-called ‘declaration of love.’

There it was, the desire to die right then and there.

“But, you know…”

Manaka looked up at her with a kind of triumphant expression that Risa had never seen on her face before.

“I kinda like that. You making a scene for me.”

**Author's Note:**

> this may have a continuation, but for the time being it works just fine as a oneshot.


End file.
